The other day, after nearly two decades of getting nothing more complicated than a haircut at the salon, I finally decided to do what my mother has been begging me to do for many years:
Get a perm.
You may not be familiar with the trauma GenX immigrant kids were forced to suffer as a result of the "pah-mah" (how we say it in Korean) trend that took over the 80s. Suffice it to say, I had to undergo hours of uncomfortable hair treatments that left me looking more like George Washington than a girl with a head of adorable curls. Hence, my reluctance to subject my follicles to so many chemicals, followed by intense heat.
But, I realized that I was doing the same thing at home all the time--dousing my hair with all sorts of drugstore products and then bending my hair with curling irons, round brushes, teasing combs, and the torching heat of my blow dryer. What if I could do away with all that with just one perm a year? Would the tradeoff be worth it?
Thankfully, perms have come a long way since the torture sessions of my youth. While they still take several hours, they've gotten a lot "gentler"--in terms of the chemicals used, the heat applied, and the resulting curls. The curls are loose, gentle, and far more natural looking than the wigs donned by British barristers. I went with a "digital perm" to obtain the beach-tousled look I'd otherwise have to spend hours with a curling iron to achieve. Rods were placed in my hair and each one was temperature controlled to avoid heat damage. The hair stylist specifically told me I would have soft, natural-looking waves with no curling iron, no blow drying, and minimal product (a little serum to keep my hair nice and glossy).
Not gonna lie--I was a little nervous when they hooked me in for my digital perm. But in the end, I could not have been more thrilled with the results. True to my stylist's words, my first "post-shower," air-dried hair looked exactly as described: loose, natural waves. Zero blow dryer. Zero product. Just KV Beauty's Smoothing Shampoo.
Everyone has their own beauty ritual and I'd like to think that it can live side-by-side with the recognition that we can be as lovely without a drop of makeup or hair gel as we are when we go all out with red lipstick and a bouffant. For me, I decided that getting one perm a year ends up being a net-positive: saves me from all the product I would otherwise use and the unpleasant hours wasted with the curling iron and blow dryer. Plus, I have a great shampoo with gentler surfactants, minimizing the damage and helping the perm to last longer.
My mother started dyeing her hair black when she began getting too many greys. I, myself, have noticed an uptick in grey hairs that I find mildly troubling. The idea of dyeing my hair is... not great. This means a lot coming from someone who, back in the day, used to bleach her hair platinum blond! But I also understand why my mother does this. It's shocking to have to look at yourself in the mirror and see such visible signs of aging. If some hair dye can soften that blow, who am I to judge?
I have no idea what I'll do when I hit that fork in the road.
