I was just finishing up a 3 mile warm up to what was supposed to be, in total, a 5 mile run. The treadmill came to a slow stop and I paused the clock on my watch. I picked up my phone to switch from the audiobook I was enjoying (a delicious suspense thriller about a serial killer by British author Alice Freeman) to my Running Playlist (a collection of upbeat songs designed to keep me focused on speed).
And that was my mistake.
As soon as I got on my phone, all thought of my Running Playlist fled and in its place were the notifications on my message app and Gmail. On autopilot, my fingers adroitly navigated over to both and in seconds, my entire body was flooded with cortisol. One message was from my publisher, alerting me to a budget issue related to an event for my upcoming book tour and the other was a voice note from KV Beauty’s Creative director with comments on my newsletter (not this one lol).
Both were immediately distressing to me, something my ego alerted me to with an inner voice at increasing decibels.
Why do I need to deal with this book stuff?
Why am I getting last minute comments on an email going out tomorrow?
Why does anyone think they can tell me what to say in MY newsletter?
Standing there, heart rate climbing despite the still treadmill, I told myself,
There’s no way I can finish this workout now. Might as well drive home and fire off a bunch of emails and messages.
I almost grabbed my hoodie (which I hang strategically over the clock on the treadmill), but hit the pause button. The phrase “there’s no way I can finish this workout” didn’t sit right with me. It was still only 8 in the morning. There was plenty of time to finish 2 miles, get back in front of my laptop, and still have time to take Lulu for her walk before the “work day” even got started. Plus, nothing in either of the messages indicated it was urgent.
The only emergency was the one I was manufacturing inside my own head.
Correction: The one my EGO was manufacturing inside my own head.
Sure enough, as soon as I hit the “resume” button on the treadmill, I could feel that cortisol leaking out of the bottoms of my running shoes and by the time I was finished, I’d (a) decided my Creative Director made a lot of great points, all of which I would incorporate in the newsletter; (b) drafted (in my head) an email to my publisher regarding the budget; and (c) felt totally pumped up about the first 5M workout I’d managed to complete in several weeks.
The point is, your ego can actually be pretty brilliant when it comes to STEALING your “me time” and sabotaging your productivity. Mine nearly tricked me into causing all sorts of mischief, one of which would have surely meant a terse conversation with either my Creative Director or my Publisher or both!!
Instead, with a little bit of self-negotiating, I walked off that treadmill with a better newsletter, a fully outlined email response, a deeper appreciation for someone on my team, and, perhaps most importantly, a resounding victory over my TOXIC EGO.
So, against this very real world example, here are a 5 Tips on How to Protect Your “Me Time” even against yourself!
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Schedule Your Me Time Like A Meeting. Despite saying goodbye to corporate law, I still live and die by my calendar. AND, I still calendar all my “me time” as a non-negotiable block of time. Even my assistant knows NEVER to schedule anything before 10:30 am (in case my long run goes, well, long).
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Rehearse Saying “No” Out Loud. I’m terrible at saying “no” to anyone, but especially to my Toxic Ego. It’s not always clear when I’m negotiating with myself that saying “no” is truly in my best interest. But if your DEFAULT is to protect your “me time,” then practicing saying “no” to that ego is crucial.
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Treat It Like A Negotiation. Sometimes, it’s about compromise. Say, “Ok, I won’t turn to this right now, but I’ll cut my ‘me time’ by 10 minutes.” When I got back on the treadmill, I told my ego, “Ok, I’m going to run for .5 more miles. If I still feel like I’m panicking, I’ll stop.” But lo and behold, I felt so much better after only a half-mile, I finished the whole thing.
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Sleep Mode. I keep my phone on SLEEP mode during my “me time”--which means only my family is able to penetrate all the blocks I have on my phone. My big mistake, of course, was checking my messages in the middle of my “me time.” Whatever you need to do to totally unplug, DO IT!
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Refuse the Guilt. Your ego is going to try and serve you up with a tall glass of GUILT and you’re going to say “NO THANK YOU!” You can even do it with a pretty smile on your face! 😘 Do NOT feel guilty for taking some “me time”--you not only DESERVE it, you need it to be at your best.
What are some of your tips and tricks to make sure no one, including yourself, sabotages your well-deserved “me time”? Comment below!
